Soooooo my grandma… she has cancer. I sort of suspected it. I like not to be surprised about this stuff, so when my parents told me they need to tell me and my bro something I prepared for the worst. It is treatable and caught somewhat early so higher hopes. Nothings going to “go back to normal” and it’s hurting me. I have to have a routine. I don’t have ocd or anything(my pps(parents)haven’t done any tests or anything tho) but anytime something is out of place in my routine or normality let’s just say it kills me. Anyway… also my crush that I’ve been talking about? Pretty much the only person who knows anything that I (was I’ll explain) going thru yeah he is not responding. We’ve talked about suicide before and he talked me out of it, and I’ve tried to break his walls but it’s hard. So I’m realllly worried. Of coarse if something did happen I’d hear about it, but the last text I got from him is “my step dad is a lot my parents are a lot school is a lot I’m sorry” of course the rest of that context I’m keeping private but that set off huuugggeee alarms in my head. I also am going thru some things…. Especially my parents. But I can’t- no I won’t- just let’s say I haven’t been able and I just haven’t told anyone anything. Struggling. I’m fine tho 🙃 ):